I can't believe I have a 12 week old!

So, it's been brought to my attention I've been slacking. This is (sadly) true. My life feels like it's been in fast forward since little M was born and I have no way to slow it down. Sometimes I think about how quickly he's growing up and it makes me happy to see him do new things every day, but there are other days when I wish I could stop time and cuddle next to his tiny body forever. As I'm sitting here writing this post, I'm tearing up.

I absolutely LOVE mothering. When I first found out I was expecting, I didn't know what to expect. Matthew was not a planned baby by any means, but it seems that God has a better plan than I do. To me, I wasn't sure it was the right time. I'd only been married 15 months when Matthew was conceived. I hadn't hit my year mark as a nurse yet. I wanted to do this. I needed to finish that. There was an infinite list in my head that told me, "Girl, you are NOT ready for this baby!". People talk about being connected right away, but I wasn't. I was just nervous. Now I can't imagine my life without my little bundle of craziness named Matthew!

About 6 weeks into the pregnancy, I had a small complication. I was bleeding a bit of bright red blood. Instantly, I was terrified. Seeing my tiny little bean on the ultrasound screen suddenly made everything real.  Pregnancy was filled with ups and downs for me. I became insanely attached the the little kid growing inside of me. Pregnancy also FLEW by for me. You won't find many women that say that, I'm sure, but it was true for me. It seemed that I peed on a stick and in the blink of an eye, my baby was slipping out and I was hearing his first cries. My life only got faster from there.

When Matthew was born and I said I wish I could stop time, I remember my 7th grade English teacher, Mrs. Chandler, saying to me something like, "Now you get to experience the motherhood phenomenon of time simply moving faster".

If Matthew is crying nonstop or just wants to sit up all night and giggle play, I try so hard not to get upset. If I find myself getting upset, I stop, breathe, and think to myself, "THESE are the times worth remembering".

I'm trying to cherish these times as much as I can, soaking up every moment that comes along. I get teary and nostalgic about it occasionally. Even though I want him to stay my tiny baby forever, it's going to be exciting for him to grow up. He already has a feisty little personality! I can't wait to see what it's like in a few years.